Start Over
by eien.no.ame
Summary: Ryoma comes back from America after almost three years and all the regulars expect something to finally happen between Ryoma and Sakuno. However, an accident changes it all and priorities are not the same. They'll have to start over if they want to go back where they were but...is that possible? / I hate summaries, it's hard not to give spoilers... Hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

Hello! This is my first fanfic for The Prince of Tennis. I am not really original, another RyoSaku... It's kind of wird, since I prefer TezuSaku fics (maybe because they are hard to find? lol). Well, whatever... In this story, Ryoma and Sakuno are 15/16 (first year in High School) so if you've watched the anime (OVAs included) you'll find some weird things :P The same goes for those of you who have watched The New Prince of Tennis...

Anyway, I do not really know if I'm going to be able to post this fic regularly, since I am writing it in both spanish and english. Yep, english is not my mother tongue, so I'm sure there are mistakes... I just do not know how to correct them (and I probably do not see half of them...). I would like to have a beta-reader, but I haven't been able to find someone as of now... Some kind soul over there? lol Well, I'll do my best, and if you ever find some mistake or you want to give me some advice, it will be very much appreciated :)

I'll try to post it as regularly as I can, but I am slow writting, even though I have a sketch for every chapter of this fic.

Hope you like it!

* * *

**Chapter 1. The unthinkable **

They all have met at the entrance of the tennis courts. Since it was for a friendly tournament, only the regulars were there. All the other members of the tennis club were training, back in the school with the coach, who had asked Sakuno to be with them as the manager of the team. Sakuno wore the school's uniform and also had a basket with food to have a little picnic with them once the tournament was over.

However, they were starting to think they wouldn't be able to take part in said tournament. There were only ten minutes left for the inscription and Ryoma had yet to arrive. They had tried to call him, but not to avail. They only knew that he was in his way there, so it shouldn't take a long time for him to arrive.

"Should we start with the inscription?" asked Momo.

"Even though it's a friendly tournament, they won't let us if the team is incomplete", said Inui.

"Fsshh, baka."

"What did you say?!"

They started to fight, but only Oishi seemed concerned by it. Despite the fact that it had been three years since she had known them, some things hadn't changed, thought Sakuno while observing them with a smile. However, Sakuno _was_ worried. At sixteen, Ryoma wasn't usually late. Maybe something happened? The girl looked up and down the street, searching for any sign of Ryoma but finding nothing. She sighed lightly and frowned. Where was he?

When there were only two minutes left, Sakuno searched for him once again, more and more anxious each passing minute. The other regulars were still talking, also anxious. It was then when Sakuno saw a white and blue figure with a big black bag running in their direction. She recognized him easily but, far from feeling relieved, fear invaded her. Ryoma was running to them, failing to notice the fast approaching of a car.

"Ryoma, NO!" shouted Sakuno at the same time as she broke into a run, letting go of the basket full of food.

The yell called the attention of the regulars, who saw her running away. Then, too late, they noticed what was happening. Ryoma, who also heard the cry, looked up in time to see her running to him. He stopped, confused, when suddenly he heard a car's engine, each second nearer, but he didn't have the chance to look at it.

Sakuno was now beside him and pushed him out of the way.

Surprised, Ryoma fell down, his head knocking the floor. Dizzy because of the blow, he heard a creak and two clashes. He sat in the ground, trying to figure out what had happened. There was a car stopped a few meters away and some black marks on the ground. His eyesight clarified and, remembering about Sakuno pushing him, he searched for her.

The moment Ryoma found her lying on the ground not too far away from where he was, it seemed like the world had begun to turn around once again after stopping for an endless second. He heard the engine's roar, willing the car to speed up away just when the regulars finally reacted and ran over where Sakuno was, calling her name.

All of the regulars stopped, paralyzed, when they reached her but they started to move just a second later. Oishi approached her, checking her condition while Inui called an ambulance and the police. Eiji and Momo, unable to keep looking at her, went to Ryoma to check if he was ok.

"Echizen, daijobu?" questioned Momo.

Ryoma, who was yet sitting on the road, didn't answer. Even though the other regulars blocked her from his view, his eyes didn't leave the spot. He stood up, staggering when his sight clouded over. He felt someone catching his arm, but didn't turn to see who. Instead, he walked forward to where he knew Sakuno was lying. Momo an Eiji tried to talk with him, but Ryoma never answered. Seeing he seemed able to walk on his own, Momo let his arm go and they both followed him.

Inui had already called the ambulance and the police, so he remained there with Kaidoh. Tezuka and Fuji, whose eyes were now open, went near Oishi, who was still kneeled by Sakuno's side with a very worried face. They all turned around after hearing Ryoma's voice.

"Sakuno…"

The whisper reached their ears, even though Ryoma didn't seem to be aware of it and his voice sounded weak and broken. He walked forward but, when there were only two meters left, Tezuka stepped in and blocked his way. Ryoma, however, didn't acknowledge it and simply tried to round him to keep getting closer. Tezuka, whose face remained blank even though the worry and the sadness where obvious in his eyes, surrounded him with an arm, almost like he was hugging the younger, effectively stopping his approaching. Both of them had grown taller, especially Ryoma, who was almost as tall as Tezuka himself.

Ryoma stirred stronger, trying to get to Sakuno, but Tezuka just tightened his grip and began to move him away without a word. Ryoma, still not fully aware of what was happening, turned around to face the older.

"Tezuka…let me go…Sakuno."

Tezuka and Fuji, who had approached to them, noticed the change of name but they both understood. Ryoma didn't know yet what was he doing or even saying. They didn't know if he was aware that Sakuno had saved him, maybe at the expense of her life, or if he just had a feeling something was wrong. What they did know was that he had recognized Tezuka, even if at that moment he wasn't important. Ryoma had addressed him only to attain what he wanted: to get to Sakuno. If Tezuka was his '_buchou_' –as Ryoma always addressed him- and his _senpai_, it didn't mattered to the boy. Now, his world had been reduced to him, Sakuno and the person who prevented him to see her. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"No."

Tezuka didn't elaborate, fully aware that Ryoma's condition didn't allow him to be reasonable. So, Tezuka just refused while looking the golden and strangely big innocent eyes of Ryoma. Fuji, Eiji and Momo observed them, worried and serious, but the other regulars were focused on Sakuno like they were unable to stop looking at her. Tezuka continued to move him away, but Ryoma moved faster and stronger than what he had expected, successfully breaking free, and Tezuka couldn't stop him seeing her.

Sakuno was lying on the ground, but it was impossible to think that she was asleep. She had cuts all over her body and, although they were not too noticeable yet, she also had bruises because of the impact with the cars and the hard asphalt. However, the worst of it all, what made it impossible to think she was sleeping, was that below her head was a minute-growing blood stain, stealing away the color of her cheeks.

Oishi hadn't move from her side, checking her constants and trying, even if he knew it was futile, to make her react. Every now and then he looked both sides of the street, obviously hoping to see the ambulance. His knowledge of medicine wasn't enough for this kind of injuries. And he knew that, even if Sakuno was still breathing, she will die if she didn't receive treatment soon.

Ryoma, after seeing her, stumbled, but a second later he approached her while calling her by her name, now just a whisper, almost a plea, and with an extended arm towards her. Before any of the regulars could do anything, someone caught Ryoma, stopping his approaching again.

Kabaji.

People had gotten closer without them noticing. A driver had stopped his car in front of them in order to prevent another accident. Some passer-by were murmuring without helping at all.

When Ryoma started fighting against Kabaji's grip, the older one just tightened his grip, his face as stoic as ever, and started to move him away while turning around so Ryoma wouldn't see her. Then, Atobe appeared out of nowhere and, gripping his chin, made Ryoma raise his head and look at him in the eye. Those golden eyes were still wider than usual but, albeit the confusion was still present in them, the pain and angst had substitute the weird innocence Tezuka had seen.

Atobe's Corporation had promoted the friendly tournament, so he had invited Seigaku personally, hoping –though he would never recognized it- to defeat Tezuka and Ryoma. Atobe had been waiting for them with the rest of his team at the inscription's place but, seeing they were running out of time, he had went to the entrance with Kabaji, who was following him everywhere, as always. He distinguished the Seigaku regulars there, talking, but when he was about to make his entry, Sakuno's cry had him pinned there. He saw her starting to run and then pushing Ryoma away, who had stopped in the middle of the street without noticing the approaching car. He also saw the car running over her when she didn't have enough time to avoid it, causing her to fall hard on the ground. And, finally, he saw how all the other regulars woke up from the macabre trance and rushed to her side. He saw everything without seeing anything.

When he finally reacted, he called an ambulance and then approached them, observing without taking part until Ryoma broke free from Tezuka and saw her in the ground, more and more pale and blood filled. _Too pale and blood filled_. He made Kabaji stop him and approached them. However, when he looked at Ryoma's eyes, he discovered that there wasn't anything left from the arrogant rookie they all knew.

Atobe hold down Ryoma's chin with his strength and frowned, disgusted. He knew he was hurting the young one, but he didn't care and Ryoma didn't seem to be aware.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked Ryoma with a hard voice and still looking him in the eye. "She has just saved you. Do you think you're going to get something whimpering and calling her name?"

"You don't know a thing!" shouted back Ryoma, struggling stronger and almost beside himself.

"I do know. I've seen everything. And you're eyes also say everything. Guilt, remorse. Where's the arrogant prince of tennis now? If she could see you now, she would probably regret saving you" said Atobe, so annoyed that he even forgot to call himself _'Ore-sama'_.

"Oi, Atobe!" exclaimed Momo, but Tezuka raised an arm to prevent him to approach.

Oishi and Eiji were looking at Atobe and Ryoma, worried but without taking part. Momo was furious, but obeyed Tezuka and didn't do nor say anything else. Kaidoh, Inui, Tezuka and Fuji –his eyes still open- looked at them without uttering a word and with a serious face.

Atobe saw a new glint in Ryoma's eyes: sadness. He let him go and straightened, his eyes always looking at him. Ryoma's endurance fade away and he bowed his head, although Atobe and Tezuka had already seen the tears collecting in his eyes.

It was then when, finally, they heard the hooters of the ambulance and the police. The EMT* and the policemen hurried to them, asking for what had happened. The regulars and the other witnesses managed to explain everything.

One of the EMT who had been trying to stabilize Sakuno's condition in order to drive her to the hospital turned to Ryoma once they learned he had been involved in the accident. Ryoma stood there, still, while looking at them helping Sakuno.

"Did you hit your head when you fell?" asked the EMT, Nakayama.

Ryoma didn't react. Tezuka approached him and called his name. Ryoma lifted up his head slowly and looked at them. Nakayama repeated the question and the lad looked at him, confused.

"I…I don't know."

Nakayama's face softened, understanding, and went closer to Ryoma.

"It seems you have knocked it pretty hard. You'll come with us to check there's nothing wrong. If you feel dizzy or you suddenly get sleepy, tell me" he said, seeing him grimace in pain when he pressed a point in the back of his head.

Despite the EMT was talking to Ryoma, he also looked at Tezuka, obviously aware that he seemed to be in charge. Ryoma just nodded, once again looking at Sakuno, and Nakayama went back to the girl to help introducing her in the ambulance.

Meanwhile, Inui and Fuji gave the car's registration number to the police. The EMTs exchanged worried looks when they realized that Sakuno didn't have a guardian since her parents died years ago and his grandmother was on a journey and they couldn't contact her. Inui, however, gave them the medical information about Sakuno they needed, so they asked him and Tezuka, who had taken responsibility for Sakuno, to go with them to the hospital along with Ryoma. Inui got into the front part of the ambulance, in the co-driver's seat. Tezuka, after a talk with Oishi, Fuji and Atobe, got into the back with Ryoma and the other EMT who was checking at both Ryoma and Sakuno.

Once the ambulance had left, Atobe turned to the rest of the regulars.

"I'll drive you to the hospital once I've cancelled the tournament."

"No", said Eiji, surprising the rest. "Sakuno-chan won't like to know that the tournament has been suspended because of her."

"That's right" smiled calmly Fuji. "She'll feel guilty enough once she learns we didn't participate."

Oishi smiled while Atobe just nodded. Neither of them mentioned that, maybe, Sakuno would never be able to feel guilty again. A policeman approached them.

"We will drive you to the hospital. We've finished questioning the witnesses".

"Arigato gozaimashita" said Oishi.

EMT: Emergency Medical Technician (I've read it in a book, and I don't really know if it's right or not… That's why I came up with a name… in the Spanish chapter he doesn't have a name lol )


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi! I'm sooooo happy! =D I've got reviews! ****And I have followers! O.o I still don't believe it lol Thank you so much for those of you who have reviewed, followed or favorited (yes, some people even did that O.O lol I swear I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it haha. And if you just read the first chapter but you're here again, thank you too =) Wow, I just couldn't stop myself from smiling / You guys didn't made my day, you just made (at least) my week haha I hope you will continue to support this story! **

**Aaand I have good news. No, I'm not posting two chapters at once, sorry :P I have a beta-reader! Sooo, there won't be those weird sentences nor mistakes =) Still, we're humans, so if you notice some mistakes, please feel free to tell me ^^ I'll try to at least post one chapter every month, unless I can manage to write more (which is quite improbable).**

**Just two things I'd like you to have in mind for this chapter and future chapters. I do not study medicine nor anything similar, so I try to make everything coherent, but that doesn't mean it's true. If you notice a big mistake, please tell me. Otherwise, please think this done like this so the story is coherent and I can develop it the way I want to. Hope you understand ^^ The second comment is about the characters' personality. I try not to make them Ooc, but please notice they're older than they were in the manga/anime and also that there's no situation like this in the manga/anime, so they react the way I think they would if something like this happened. Some of you already told me you think they would react like they did in the first chapter, so I'm happy to hear that =) However, if you notice anything really impossible, feel free to say it, I promise I won't bite anyone =) I don't know if it's me or this paragraph sounds harsh… I swear it's not meant to be like that, I just wanted to tell you that I'm aware that there may be weird things, but I can't really help them. Hope you understand /**

**As always, any (civilized) comment will be veeery appreciated ^^ Hope you like this chapter!**

**Chapter 2. Reset**

Ryoma was sitting on one of the corridor's chairs, outside the room where Sakuno was constantly looked after by nurses and doctors that were coming in and out without uttering a word. Inui and Tezuka were close by, standing up and in silence.

They had taken Ryoma to check him up once they had put a foot in the hospital. He had tried to stay with Sakuno but Tezuka had persuaded him. However, the doctors couldn't prevent him from running back to her once they'd told him there was nothing to worry about and had his head bandaged. Tezuka and Inui had looked over him when he approached.

"How is she?" he had asked, anxious.

"We don't know yet", answered Tezuka with his usual stoic face. "What have the doctors told you?

"Everything is okay."

After that, neither of them had uttered another word and it had been more than three hours since then. Meanwhile, the other regulars had arrived and were sitting a little further, talking in a low tone.

"Ryoma!"

All the regulars turned to the source of the voice and saw a woman running to them, followed by a man. Despite Ryoma's distant behavior, they had known his parents for a long time, so they recognized them instantly. It had been difficult to contact his parents because neither of them were at home, so Nanako –Ryoma's cousin- had promised to find them. Rinko, Ryoma's mother, kneeled beside her son, asking him questions anxiously.

"Are you ok?"

Ryoma nodded curtly without looking at his parents or saying anything. Rinko looked at him, still anxious, and asked him in a softer voice.

"And Sakuno-chan?"

Ryoma's and Sakuno's relationship had been getting closer to the point where they had become good friends. Ryoma didn't usually talk much, but the regulars and Sakuno were the only ones who could get him into a proper conversation. Rinko had picked up an interest in Sakuno since she saw her the day Ryoma went to the US Open. She had seen how Ryoma just shrugged when she asked for her until he had started to get nervous while explaining something about her. She also knew Sakuno was Ryuzaki-sensei's granddaughter, the old coach of his husband, but she has never had the chance to talk to her.

"No-"

Ryoma didn't finish the sentence, hearing the door of the room where Sakuno was opening again. The doctor in charge of Sakuno approached them and asked:

"Tezuka Kunimitsu?"

"Hai", answered the always serious captain.

The doctor was surprised at this, not having expected one of the boys to answer, so he wanted to be sure.

"Are you in charge of Ryuzaki Sakuno?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are you a relative?"

"No."

"Her boy-"

"How is she?", interrupted Ryoma, tired of all those useless questions.

The doctor turned to him and observed his anxious expression and his bandaged head. '_I see_', the doctor thought. That answered his unfinished question. Seeing all of them waiting for an answer, he decided to postpone the administrative issues.

"She's stable", he saw their faces relaxing. "We can't say she's out of danger yet, because the accident has been severe and until she wakes up we won't know if there are any consequences. We're going to leave her in the unit care until she wakes up and then we will get her a room". Seeing all those almost happy faces of the group he felt bad, but it was better to warn them. "However, there is a possibility that she won't wake up. The anesthetics are still working, but she could fall into a coma and, if that happens, we can't predict when will she wake up… Or even if she will."

They froze. Coma? Sakuno may not wake up? It was too much.

"I know it's difficult to accept", went on the doctor "but is a possibility you should be prepared to see. The blow on her head has been very hard, so even if she does wake up, there could be consequences."

The doctor saw how Ryoma clenched his fist and the sadness and the incredulity in the faces of the others, so he chose to change the topic.

"That's why I need to know who is in charge of her. There must be an adult who takes the responsibility", added looking at Ryoma's parents and the coach, the only adults.

"Her grandmother Sumire Ryuzaki is the one who's legally in charge of her", answered Tezuka. "She's also her only relative alive, so we know, but we can't contact her because she's on a journey. She asked me to keep an eye on her, so I'll take the responsibility."

"It can't be, it must be an adult."

"I'm eighteen. Legally I'm an adult*, so I can take the responsibility, can't I?"

"Well, yes, but…", the doctor looked away, uncomfortable, to the only ones he really believed to be adults, but none of them stood against the idea. He had to surrender. "All right. However, it would be better if there is another adult who also takes responsibility."

"We will", said Rinko while Nanjiroh nodded, serious for once.

"All right, follow me."

* * *

_**~Two weeks later~**_

"Kawamura-senpai, don't you have to help at the restaurant today?" asked Momoshiro while approaching the gate.

"My father has given me spare time today so I can go with you all to the hospital", answered Kawamura, shyly.

Momoshiro nodded and went back to practice, which was almost finished. It had been two weeks since the accident and the prognosis about the coma has proven right. Sakuno had never woken up, not even once. All the regulars had gotten used to visiting her every afternoon, once practice was over, and Sunday mornings*². Kawamura went too, even though he wasn't a member of the tennis club anymore, having decided to help his father at the sushi restaurant in order to learn, but he was still a classmate and friend of the third years. He often went to their matches and, once they were over, they all went to his father's restaurant. Although he wasn't there when the accident happened, he knew about it and was as worried as the others.

Tezuka was surveying the practice along with the coach. They both had decided to use the summer break to focus on the new members, because since the competitions had already finished they could help them to improve. To achieve it, every regular and non-regular were playing matches to improve everyone's weaknesses: strength, power or precision. Inui had helped to plan the training program. Every regular –except Tezuka- or any non-regular member with an outstanding skill was playing a match with one of the other members; since the number of members had increased, however, while half the team was playing, the other half was doing exercises that will improve pliability, power, strength and basic tennis moves, (though they could also take short breaks to watch the practice matches). The roles reversed when practice was half done. The next day, in order to avoid the monotony and demotivation of the players, the regulars would be playing matches between them while non-regulars would be doing other activities, also planned by Inui, who had been recollecting data about them. The last part had been suggested by Oishi and all of them had agreed.

Today they were playing regular vs. non-regulars matches. At the beginning, the first years had been worried (the other non-regular members too, though they'd never have recognized it), uncomfortable at having to play matches against regulars, but day by day they had grown used to it and the practice program seemed to be working. Tezuka and the coach observed them outside the courts, looking for mistakes or aspects to improve and praise in order to maintain the motivation and teamwork.

When there were only ten minutes left, Tezuka's phone sounded. No student could have had their phone on during school, but because of Sakuno's condition, the coach had allowed Tezuka to have his phone with him.

"Moshi moshi."

Tezuka moved away a little, giving his back to both the coach and the court, so he didn't notice Eiji looking at him and the calling the others, stopping the matches and approaching Tezuka. The coach did notice, but he didn't even try to stop them. Soon after, Tezuka hung up and noticed the silent courts. He turned to see what was happening and he almost instinctively backed because of Eiji's closeness; he had apparently been trying to eavesdrop something. Despite the situation, Tezuka managed to keep his stoic façade, even though Fuji noticed something weird in his eyes.

"Practiced is not over yet."

"How is Sakuno-chan?" asked Eiji, ignoring the captain, who looked at him but didn't answer.

"Come on, Tezuka", stepped in Fuji. "We know it's from the hospital: you wouldn't have answered otherwise."

Tezuka looked at the regulars, who had approached him and were now looking at him, waiting for an answer. Even some of the non-regulars had approached. The coach, outside the semicircle the regulars had formed, was also observing him and nodded slightly. Tezuka sighed inwardly before answering, accepting the defeat.

"Sakuno has woken up", he answered straight-forwardly, having to wait for the other to stop celebrating to continue. "She seems to be fine, but she's still confused and weak, so they have asked me to go. You all will-"

"We'll come with you!" shouted Eiji while jumping around them.

Before Tezuka could refuse, the regulars nodded. Oishi turned to the coach, who nodded too, and then turned again to Tezuka with a small smile while he shrugged. They both knew there was no way to stop them. Even if they banned them from going, they'd find a way to go and see her, and there were less than five minutes left of practice. Once it was over, there would be nothing they could do to avoid it.

"All right. Go change, we're going to the hospital."

Momoshiro turned around, looking for Ryoma to talk with him, but he couldn't find him.

"Hey, where's Echizen?"

All the regulars looked around, searching for him, but they couldn't find him.

"He's at the changing room. If you don't hurry up, he'll leave without you", answered the coach, smiling.

"Ah! Not fair, Ochibi!"

Eiji ran to the changing room followed by Oishi, who was trying in vain to calm him down. Momo and Kaidoh followed them, for once without fighting with each other. Fuji, smiling and with his eyes closed, also went to the changing room with Inui, still writing something on his notebook while walking, and Tezuka.

* * *

Half an hour later, all of the regulars along with Kawamura went to the hospital. In the beginning it had been weird. Eiji and Oishi used to go together to see her, but they always ended up there with Tezuka, who spend most of his time there, Fuji and Inui. Kaidoh and Momo also used to visit her almost every day, so they all decided to go there together, thinking that Sakuno would have liked it.

The problem had been Ryoma.

After the accident, he hardly went to class and never was at practice. They had never seen him with Sakuno either, but they knew he visited her because the nurses and the doctor had told Tezuka. When Momoshiro tried to talk with him, Ryoma just ran away, ignoring all of them, even his parents, until Tezuka confronted him, a week after the accident.

_**Flashback**_

"_Echizen."_

_The boy grimaced, but didn't open his eyes nor move. It had been a week now and Ryoma was still unable to go to class and seer her empty chair or go to practice and search for her figure in vain. There wasn't anyone to cheer for them anymore, no one to help them with their training. At least, no one he cared about, so he had gotten used to spendind most of his time at the rooftop even though that place also brought back memories about her. But, at this time, could he do anything that wouldn't remind him about her?_

_If he had known something like that could happen…He would have never gotten close to her. He wouldn't have let her be with him._

_Tezuka, tired of the situation, had gone to the rooftop. Actually, they all knew he was there, but no one had dared to go. Sakuno was the one who always went to search for him when he was ducking out of something. And she always made him return and participate, no matter how stupid was the school activity he had tried to avoid was._

"_Echizen, how long do you plan to keep this up?" Tezuka asked, impassive about his kouhai's unresponsiveness. Seeing him still not answer, he kept talking." Until Sakuno wakes up? What if she _never_ wakes up?"_

_Ryoma cringed before the possibility but didn't answer so Tezuka went on. He wasn't going to stop until Ryoma answered._

"_And even if she does wake up, there could be consequences. She may be unable to talk or move. She may forget us. Or it could take years for her to wake up. Are you going to stay here, not doing anything even after she saved you, maybe at the expense of her life?"_

_Tezuka knew he was being cruel, but what Ryoma was doing to Sakuno was cruel too, even if she never knew about it. Because Sakuno had saved him so he could live as she knew him, not for him to be a mere shadow of what he used to be, lamenting and running away from everything._

_And yes, Tezuka knew that, had Sakuno been there, it would have been now long since she had stood up in front of Ryoma and had asked Tezuka to leave him alone, saying that what he was doing wasn't right. But Sakuno wasn't there and Tezuka wasn't one to stay still._

_Ryoma had dropped his guard and now he had to accept the consequences. And if he wasn't willing to do it, Tezuka was sure going to make him do it._

_Ryoma, unable to keep listening, stood up, leaning on the fence that surrounded the rooftop and through which he used to look every time he wasn't pretending to be sleeping when someone appeared, and went towards the door without saying a word. However, when he passed by Tezuka's side, the former caught his arm and pressed him over the fence, effectively blocking the younger from moving. A sound of protest escaped Ryoma's lips, but fell silent after seeing his captain's face._

_Once, years ago, Tezuka had slapped Ryoma like he was just a capricious and arrogant kid. And, in a way, he was, at least the arrogant part. That had been a lesson. Tezuka hadn't been angry at Ryoma, just disgusted and a little disappointed. And the slap had made Ryoma react, because he didn't want to be an arrogant kid nor, by any means, did he want to disappoint his captain._

_Things were now a lot different. Tezuka was angry. Or maybe furious was closer to what he was feeling. His face, usually impassive, showed now his emotions. Fry, disappointment…Scorn even. Ryoma flinched because of the unknown face he was now seeing and would have moved backwards, had he been able to. The slap had been almost a kid's game. Now was serious. They weren't kids anymore._

"_Enough with the avoiding, Echizen. It's about time you accept what's going on. Sakuno's in the hospital, in a coma. She may not wake up. She may be dying right now", Tezuka ignored Ryoma's grimace in pain and just went on, without stopping. "She may wake up and not be the Sakuno we all know. And she may wake up and be exactly how we remember her to be, if there's someone who could remain unchanged after an accident like that. But, whatever happens, it was her decision. She did it for you. And what are you doing? Staying here while pretending to sleep every time someone steps in here. Running away from everything and everybody. Atobe was right. Did she save you for _this_?" he asked with rage while he strongly gripped the uniform's collar._

"_I didn't ask her to do it!" shouted back Ryoma, also gripping Tezuka's shirt's collar. "I didn't ask her to save me! I didn't ask her to di-"_

_Ryoma choked, unable to finish the sentence. His hands loosened their grip and slipped, still in fits, until they reached the captain's chest. Ryoma pushed him weakly, his head down. _

"_I didn't ask her to..."he whispered._

"_She didn't do it because you asked her to. Even if you could have told her not to do it, she would have done it anyway, and you know why", Tezuka's voice was now softer, more understanding. He didn't voice Sakuno's name because he was aware of the pain it brought to the boy. "She had always cared for you, she'd always wanted you to be happy. That's why, even if the worst happens, don't you think that, in a way, you owe her?"_

"_I can't…"_

"_Echi-"_

"_I can't. Every time I see her I remember every smile, every time-"he choked again on his words and had to breathe to keep talking, even though he didn't finish. "And then I see the accident once again. I dream about it. She isn't in class either, nor in practice. Everything reminds me of her. And the worst of it all…Is that maybe she won't come back."_

_Tezuka, whose grip had loosened, put his hand after Ryoma's head, bringing him closer until he was hugging the youngest with one arm. Ryoma went still, his eyes wider and brilliant than usual because of the surprise, the pain and the unshed tears. Then, Tezuka's voice sounded near his left ear._

"_We all miss her. A lot. But we know that she would want us to go on with our lives. If it had been the other way round, would you have wanted her to stop living or would you have wanted her to go on and try to be happy?" he paused, letting his words to sink in. "And even if we know it, we can't just forget her. That's why we all go to visit her every day. She may not hear us individually, but she sure can hear us together."_

_Tezuka fell silent, observing the city through the fence. He missed Sakuno too. They had all gotten so used to her presence that, after the accident, they didn't really know how to react. Eiji had been the first one to come up with the joint visits, thinking that Sakuno would be happy to see them all together and thus she would wake up sooner. Tezuka inwardly wondered if having went to talk with Ryoma was to help Ryoma himself or for Sakuno. Probably for them both. They all craved to see the young girl smiling by their side again._

"_It's worth a shot, don't you think?"_

_Tezuka's soft whisper made Ryoma react. His hand started trembling again and grasped the captain's uniform._

_And then, after the first tear fell, the rest followed, retained for so long._

_**End of flashback**_

After that, Ryoma had returned to classes and training, even if he found it hard to concentrate. He had also accepted, though reluctantly, to visit Sakuno with the others and had slowly returned to his routine.

Once in the hospital, Tezuka asked for the doctor. Eiji and Ryoma had tried to go and see Sakuno directly, but Oishi and Tezuka had stopped them. The doctor was soon there with Ryoma's mother, who used to visit Sakuno every day since the boys had classes –or training- and couldn't stay with her. She used to take turns with Nanako, Ryoma's cousin, when she couldn't go. It seemed that it had been Rinko who was with her when Sakuno had woken up and who had called the doctor.

Ryoma didn't seem surprised to see his mother there, but once he saw her he knew something was wrong. His mother was too serious but, even though he craved to ask what was happening, he waited for Tezuka to start the conversation. The tennis captain bowed before them and waited, knowing the doctor hadn't told him everything.

The doctor looked at them. Deep inside, he knew they all would come together, but he still didn't agree. How could a teenager be in charge of another teenager who had suffered a severe accident? He inwardly sighed, knowing it wasn't the time to discuss it…again. He started to explain the real condition of Sakuno to Tezuka.

"Ryuzaki-san has already woken up. We've made different tests and she seems to be physically fine. We're going to have her in the hospital some more days, but she's out of danger."

Tezuka, who had approached the doctor and Rinko when they'd appeared, ignored the happy cries of his teammates. He knew there was something else.

"Physically?"

The doctor looked straight to him, searching for the correct words. Rinko's face showed sadness while she looked at her son, who hadn't echoed the happiness of his friends and was simply looking at them, waiting, as with Tezuka, for them to continue.

"It seems the blow on her head has affected her memory", the doctor paused, like he regretted what he was about to say. "She not only doesn't remember the accident, she can't even remember who she is."

That silenced all of the declarations of happiness of the regulars, who looked at him, stunned. For a moment, no one –not even Tezuka or Fuji- knew what to say. Eiji was the first one to recover enough to ask:

"Is she going to be ok? Will she get her memories back?"

"It's still too early to know and it's also a delicate matter. She could remember everything tomorrow or need years. She may not be able to remember ever again. What it is important now is for her to be calm and feel safe. We'll try to make her recover her memories slowly, but she has just woken up from the coma and it is better not to run any risks. If we push her, be it physically, mentally or emotionally, she could suffer a nervous breakdown."

The boys looked at each other in silence, not knowing what to say. This time, Ryoma was the first one to react, his face serious but calm. Apparently.

"Is she awake now?"

"Yes."

"I want to see her."

"I don't think-"

"Please."

The regulars and Rinko could only look at him, frozen. In three years none of the players –except Tezuka- had ever listened Ryoma asking for something with a "please". Even her mother couldn't recall the last time she had heard him say it. Tezuka, who still remembered the day Ryoma went to his house to ask him to let him participate in the friendly match against the American team, was probably the only one who could understand what Ryoma was thinking. Even though Momo was his best friend, Tezuka was the one who understood him best…along with Sakuno.

"We also want to see her", said Tezuka then. It was unusual how he had included all of them, seeing that leading nine boys to a room where there was a girl that didn't remember her name didn't seem like the most sensitive plan, but neither of the regulars protested.

Except for the doctor.

"No, that's impossible. If I allow visits, it will be for a close familiar, someone who could help her. She's still confused after the coma and her amnesia isn't helping her. I can't allow nine strangers showing up in her room, it will only make things worse."

"We're not strangers!" exclaimed Eiji. Osihi tried to stop him, but Eiji avoided him, though he did lower his voice. "We and Ryuzaki-sensei are the closest people to her."

"Even if…"

"I can talk to her first, explain her what's going on and then let them in. This way she won't be frightened nor surprised", suggested Tezuka.

Fuji and Inui observed Tezuka. It wasn't like him to be so impulsive, but it was long since they've realized how important Sakuno was for him. They had even thought he had fallen in love with her, but it wasn't the case. He protected her, cared for her. He loved her, yes… As a sister.

The others didn't pay attention, anxious to know the doctor's answer; he seemed to be at the edge of losing the already short patience he still had and kicking them out of the hospital. It was Ryoma's mother who stepped in to help them.

"I agree. Sakuno-chan has always been close with them and I think seeing them could help her regain her memories. If Tezuka-kun talks to her first and explains the situation, I think everything will be ok. At the end of the day, being alone won't help her, will it?"

The doctor looked at her, exasperated. He knew he had lost and couldn't do anything about it, so he had to surrender. He sighed.

"All right. However", he added looking sternly at Tezuka,"I'll be with her all the time and none of you can give her too much information. She knows she has had an accident and that that's why she doesn't remember, but that's all. You can tell her some things, but not too much. Telling her everything won't help and it's important that she remembers by herself and, above all, that she _wants_ to remember."

The boys nodded, serious, though the happiness of being able to see her was obvious. The doctor frowned but didn't say anything, leading them to the already well-known room.

"All right, we'll go in. You", he added turning to face the other "will wait here" finished with a hard voice and looking at Rinko like he was asking her to keep an eye on them. The woman just smiled, calm.

The doctor entered the room followed by Tezuka, who closed the door behind him and left the others outside.

* * *

After Seigaku won the national championship three years ago, Ryuzaki-sensei started to receive invitations to other parts of the country. They weren't long journeys nor did they affect a lot of practices, but she had refused to go. Sakuno had asked her why, but her grandmother had avoided giving her granddaughter a straight answer.

The club all knew too, but they also couldn't get any logical reason out of their coach. Fuji and Inui, always watchful, suspected it had something to do with Sakuno. Because of that, the tried once again on a day Sakuno hadn't gone to practice to see them.

"Saa, Ryuzaki-sensei" started Fuji with his usual smile, getting the attention of the other regulars. "Now that Ryuzaki-chan isn't here, would you tell us why you don't accept the invitations?"

As always, Eiji, Momo and Kaidoh seemed lost, not understanding the connection between the two things. Oishi seemed worried and Inui waited for the answer, notebook in hand, even if he already had all possible answers. Kawamura seemed calm, just waiting, and Tezuka had his usual stoic face, though he was listening. Ryoma was still in America.

Ryuzaki-sensei, on her side, seemed amused at the tensai's discernment, though her eyes were still serious. She observed them for a moment, not saying anything. She seemed to be challenging them to keep asking and Fuji, more competitive than what his calm exterior showed, accepted the challenge.

"It has something to do with Ryuzaki-chan, doesn't it? Every time we ask you about it, you look at her before giving an answer. If you're worried about her being alone here in school, you don't have to: we'll take care of her."

The others nodded and the woman smiled.

"Thank you, boys, but I'm not worried about that" she looked at them once again, as if she was assessing them, and then sighed. "I don't want to leave her alone at home."

That wasn't the answer they had been expecting and they all seemed surprised. Inui stood in.

"What do you mean-"

"Obaa-chan, nothing's going to happen to me" interrupted a soft voice.

They all turned to the voice. Sakuno had already arrived and was approaching them with a smile.

"Sorry I'm late. Fukumura-sensei asked me to give this to you, he says he needs it tomorrow" she explained while giving some papers to her grandmother. Then, she smiled again and continued. "You should accept those invitations, I know you really want to go and I'll be all right. We share out duties at home, so you don't have to worry about that, you know I can take care of it. And Tomo-chan is here, so I'll be safe too.

Sumire Ryuzaki looked at her granddaughter, who was smiling calmly. She knew she was right, but it was difficult for the woman to leave her. Eiji's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Ryuzaki-chan, where are your parents?"

"Eiji!" warned Oishi.

"It's ok, Oishi-senpai" smiled Sakuno, turning to look at Eiji calmly. "My parents died in a car accident when I was five, so I live alone with my grandmother."

"I'm sorry!"

"It's ok. It's been years since it happened."

Despite Sakuno's words, they all knew it wasn't true. They've never heard her talking to them without stuttering or blushing (or both…). However, Sakuno continued with the previous conversation without giving them time to react.

"Really, obaa-chan, nothing's going to happen. You should go."

"But you'd have to go and come home alone. You'd need to buy groceries too. Besides, you're easy to distract and I'm sure it gets dark before you're finished and I don't want you to walk around at night just because you were following a cat."

"M-mou, obaa-chan! That was o-only once! He was so l-little and se-seemed to be so hu-hungry…I couldn't walk away and l-leave him without-" she stopped rambling when she listened a soft laughter. When she lifted her heard she saw her grandmother, trying to hide her laughter while all the regulars looked at her, smiling. Automatically, she blushed and looked to the ground. Seeing her like that, her grandmother couldn't hide it anymore and openly laughed.

"M-mou, o-obaa-chan!"

The woman patted the head of her embarrassed granddaughter and messed up her hair, satisfied to have gotten Sakuno to forget the sadness about her parent's death. The coach looked at her players, who were smiling. However, judging by the look on Tezuka's and Fuji's faces, she knew that both of them knew what she had just done.

"Anyway, I don't want you alone at night!, she told her.

Sakuno sighed. She knew her grandmother wanted to go to those journeys, but she also knew how stubborn she was, she knew her well. In any case, she was as stubborn as her.

"We can walk her home" Tezuka then suggested, surprising them all and leaving them unable to react.

"That's true" seconded Fuji, first to recover.

"Are you sure?" asked Sumire.

The boys nodded. Kaidoh didn't accept, but he didn't oppose either and they all knew that was his way of saying "yes".

"Then I guess it's ok, it would be only a few days."

"W-wait" said Sakuno, so surprised that she hadn't been able to refuse until then. Had _Tezuka_-senpai suggested to walk _her_ home? The stoic and ever-serious _Tezuka-buchou_? "I-it's not necessary, we live a little far and I'm su-sure they have th-things to do" she stuttered, her face red.

"Don't worry" answered Osihi, smiling. "We can take turns if someone can't come. Ryuzaki-sensei is right, you shouldn't go home alone that late."

"And it's also our way to thank you for coming to cheer for us" shyly added Kawamura.

"Or to cheer for Echizen/ochibi" said at once Momo and Eiji.

Sakuno blushed even more after hearing the last sentence.

"M-mou, se-senpai-tachi! To-Tomo-chan and me cheer for you all."

"Well", saved then Sumire her granddaughter, "then it's settled. If they walk you home I don't have any problem."

Sakuno sighed, defeated. She knew she didn't stand a chance, so she smiled and bowed to them.

"Arigato gozaimashita, senpai-tachi."

After that, Ryuzaki-sensei had been accepting other invitations, knowing the regulars were taking care of her. Even later on, when the third years graduated from Middle School, they still took turns walking her home when needed.

And time passed by.

Ryoma returned from America in the first year of High School when all –or almost all- of them were together again, this time with a stronger bond. Everything was going on perfectly.

Until Ryuzaki –sensei fainted.

The stress and her age had combined and Sakuno and the others had forced her to take a vacation. Sakuno, usually calm and quiet, had even forced her not to call and forget about them until she was back. In fact, neither of the boys really knew where she went and, seeing that her vacations were to toggle of, they couldn't tell her what had happened to Sakuno and take the risk of the woman suffering another crisis.

Because she would surely, _surely_, have another crisis if she saw or knew what Tezuka knew and was seeing right then.

* * *

Sakuno was still in the bed, seated so her back was resting in cushions on the headboard. She was as pale as Tezuka remembered and the bandages on her head didn't help. Her eyes, though opened, had lost their warm shine and even her hair, let loose to make it easy for doctors and nurses to take care of her, had lost its life. Tezuka and the others would never forget the first time they had seen her without her pigtails. When Ryoma returned from America they all decided to go out to celebrate. Sakuno, who as always was running late, didn't have enough time to braid her hair, so she appeared in front of them as is, her face red from running, her breath labored and her hair loose. Even Fuji –who had opened his eyes- couldn't react for a while. Sakuno became more nervous with each passing second, thinking they were angry at her, until they finally remembered how to speak. Then, Sakuno had changed from worried to embarrassed as they wouldn't stop praising her.

But that was just a memory now…One she didn't have. There in the hospital bed, half lying and half seated, it was hard to recognize her. She seemed so fragile, so tired, so weak, so…vulnerable.

"Ryuzaki-san, Tezuka-san has come to see you."

"Tezuka…san?"

Sakuno's voice was both the same and different from what he remembered. It was still soft, but weaker. It was hard to see her like that and he couldn't do anything about it, not even embrace her. But Tezuka was good at keeping his face blank.

Maybe that was what scared her, because when she looked at him, her hands gripped the sheets that were covering her. She didn't try to move backwards, but maybe it was because she couldn't.

_So vulnerable._

"Hello, Sakuno."

Tezuka didn't try to approach her, but he did soften his voice. Softer, lower. Sakuno was still nervous, but she had at least freed the sheets.

"He-hello."

The doctor observed the young lady, measuring her emotional response. She didn't seem to recognize him, but she didn't seem to have a bad response either. He guessed her first frightened expression was normal with his stoic face. However, before he would let the others in, he had to be sure she was ok.

"Do you remember something about him?" Even if it's a sensation or just an image."

Sakuno didn't answer right away. She toyed with the hem of the sheet, nervous, while looking at the doctor, Tezuka and her hands alternatively.

"I don't remember anything, I'm sorry" she answered finally, without looking at them. "But…I do have a weird sensation, as if I knew him…But I don't remember knowing him. I'm sorry.

Tezuka exchanged a look with the doctor. Seeing the former nod, he approached her and took a seat near the bed. Slowly, he extended a hand and reached for Sakuno's right hand. The girl blushed at the contact and didn't seem to know where to look, but didn't pull off. With her little hand between his, bigger and stronger, Tezuka observed her while gently caressing her hand, trying to make her relax without words. They'd never needed them. It seemed to work, because soon after she looked at him, shyly, between the hair falling both sides of her face.

"There's no need for you to apologize. I am Kunimitsu Tezuka, captain of the tennis team of Seigaku. We both go to the same High School and we're friends" he explained her calmly.

"Tezuka-san is also the person who's in charge of you too, Ryuzaki-san."

Sakuno nodded slowly. Neither of them said anything for a while. Tezuka continued to caress her hand softly until Sakuno was completely relaxed. Exchanging another look with the doctor, Tezuka spoke again.

"More people have come to visit you. They're also your friends and members of the tennis team. Do you want to see them?"

Sakuno looked at him with her big brown eyes for a moment and then nodded softly. Tezuka let go of her hand and walked to the door. The doctor, who had been observing her all the time, saw her moving the hand Tezuka had been caressing to her heart along with her other hand while following the boy with her eyes.

Tezuka, already at the door, opened it and let the regulars in, one by one. Sakuno observed them entering, each passing second more nervous, seeing so many people in her room. She again got that weird feeling of familiarity. She saw a redheaded boy walking oddly, as if he wanted to start running but was restraining himself from doing so resulting in little jumps. For a moment, she wanted to laugh, but she restrained herself. There were too much people she supposedly knew but couldn't remember. It was too confusing. She lowered her gaze to the bed, blushing again. The doctor, still surveying her, seemed uncomfortable but didn't say anything.

When they were finally all inside the room, Tezuka approached her again. She slowly lifted her eyes and looked at them, one by one, though she blushed every now and then and lowered her head again. She tensed and relaxed her hands alternatively, trying to ease the tension she felt.

The boys, however, observed her without moving. They were happy to see her awake, but she had a weak look they'd never seen on her. She had always been shy, true, and a little clumsy as well, but never weak. They didn't really know what to do, whether to introduce themselves or wait until she said something, so there was an uncomfortable silence.

Ryoma, the last one to enter and the closest one to the door, couldn't take his eyes off her. On one hand it seemed as if he was seeing the same Sakuno, but on the other hand it was like he was seeing a complete unknown. Then, his golden eyes met her brown ones and he wasn't able to think anymore.

Sakuno, who had been slowly observing them, suddenly got caught in a golden gaze. She couldn't think. A part of her wanted to stay there, looking those eyes forever. The other part screamed for an escape. Her breath quickened and her eyes were full of unshed tears. Her hands, previously tightening and relaxing alternatively, closed with so much force that they started to tremble. The part of her that was crying for an escape won over the part that wanted to stay.

But she couldn't move.

The shy smiles of the regulars disappeared when they noticed the changes. Tezuka approached her again, trying to get her attention in vain. It was like she couldn't hear him. The doctor asked them to leave then, but none of them paid attention, still worried about Sakuno. Tezuka put a hand on her cheek and made her turn her head to look at him. The moment the visual contact between Ryoma and Sakuno broke, she burst into tears. Tezuka pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. Sakuno clung on him while the others looked at them, impotence filling them leaving them unknowing of what had happened. Not even the doctor tried to approach them.

The sobs were faltering; she had been hyperventilating before she burst into tears and now it was even more difficult for her to breathe. Tezuka caressed her back with one hand, trying to calm her down, but it was useless. There was no way to comfort her and each second seemed to last eternally until Sakuno eventually fainted.

Tezuka sensed how the tension left her body almost at the same time as the sobs ended. He moved her away a little, wary, to look at her face. Her cheeks were humid because of the tears and her expression, even unconscious, was full of sadness. Tezuka dried the tears of her cheeks with his hands and lied her down in the bed, softly, before covering her with the sheets, his eyes sad.

_Ryoma-kun._

* * *

* I know 18 is not the legal age for adults in Japan, but I needed Tezuka to be the one in charge of her, so I changed that…

*² I think Japanese students go to class from Monday to Saturday, so I'm following this calendar.

* * *

And that's all for today =) Every time I post a chapter it's because I've already written and sent (or I'm going to send) the next chapter to my beta-reader, unless it's being too long since I lasted posted a chapter.

Ah, I already have aaall the plot-line (I have a sketch for every chapter, I made it before I wrote the first chapter). That's why I was really surprised when some people told me not to kill Sakuno. I was like: "hey, why do you think I'm going to kill her?". Until I remembered the summary haha I'm quite proud I manage to do a summary without any spoilers, that made it more interesting muahaha I'm sorry lol

**Awko Taco Tales**: You're review made me soo happy! But I was sad because I knew I would disappoint you with this chapter… Although I was relieved part of you also wanted this to happen =) Hope you still like this plot-line ^^ You actually made me consider of doing another version where Sakuno dies, but I'm not capable of doing so right now, maybe in the future?

**Kyproth**: I have already corrected the sentence you told me. Thank you so much. Literally translation only goes that far it seems haha =D Sorry I didn't answer you before, I was waiting to post this but it took longer than what I originally expected… I already had a beta-reader when I saw your review, but thank you so much for the offer anyway! I may ask for your help in the future if you still don't mind =)

Aaand that's where the boring part ends haha Hope you liked it =D See you in the next chapter (or so I hope :P).


	3. Chapter 3

Hi! It's been a while, sorry. It took long than I originally expected to write chapter four... And I don't know if it would be good enough to post it... I'll wait for an answer from my awesome beta-reader :D I'll still try to keep posting at least once a month, but I'm soon going to start classes again, so I may not be able to do it... Though I really want to keep it up... Anyway, we'll see :)

Thank you so much for your reviews and alerts. They really make my day and motivate me to keep writing!

I hope you like this chapter. It was really difficult to write for me. I even lost my motivation and stopped writting this fic for almost a year because of this chapter. Not because I don't like what happens... I just had some things going on and I couldn't keep it up. I'm glad I finally made it through it.

* * *

**Chapter 3. Painful kindness**

"It's not fair!"

Oishi sighed, but didn't answer. He had lost count on how many times they'd gotten that same conversation during the last week.

"Why is Tezuka-buchou able to go every day but ochibi can't see her even for five minutes?"

"I've already told you, Eiji. The doctor has banned Echizen from seeing her and Sakuno only feels safe with Tezuka, that's why he goes every day."

They were the first ones to get to the changing room for the afternoon training. Eiji had been more nervous all day than what was normal for him and Oishi guessed it was because today was their turn to visit Sakuno. After the disaster of the first joint visit a week ago, the doctor had forbidden them to go all at the same time, so they had decided to get turns, normally in pairs. Tezuka was the only one that could go every day, since Sakuno felt better if he was with her. She hadn't had another crisis like the one she had with Ryoma, and every passing day she seemed more used to the presence of the regulars… Except for Ryoma, who had been banned from visiting her by the doctor. Ryoma had protested, of course, along with Momo and Eiji, but they didn't get anything out of it.

"And if it's Sakuno who asks to see him?" suddenly asked Eiji, who had even planned with Momo how to seep Ryoma through the hospital. Tezuka had found them and they'd had to run a hundred laps. "Then he could go see her, right?"

"Eiji, don't even think of-"

"Sakuno is not ready" interrupted Fuji, who had just arrived to the changing room followed by Inui and Kaidoh.

"Demo…"

"I feel sorry for Echizen" continued Fuji, not paying attention to Eiji's protests, "but now the most important thing is for Sakuno-chan to feel all right, and she won't be if she sees him."

Eiji didn't have an answer for that and kept quiet, downcast.

"But, why did she react that way?" asked Eiji.

No one answered. Not even Sakuno knew why. Momo had asked Inui and Fuji, but they didn't understand it either. The doctor had said it may have something to do with the accident, but they all believed there had to be something else. The twelve-year-old Sakuno was easy to read, but not the sixteen-year-old one. When Ryoma returned from America and they suspected that he had fallen for her, they had tried to discover whether she was still in love with him or not; however, all of their plans had fallen through. Sakuno knew them so well that she seemed to sense when they were planning something. Inui often had problems to know how she would react and Fuji was the only one who could still surprise her sometimes, but they still didn't know whether she still loved him and was simply hiding it or she had just gotten over her crush for him.

The actual Sakuno was similar to her twelve-year-old self. She was shy, blushed easily and stuttered constantly. She was easy to read and foresee. But she was also more vulnerable and listless than what they had ever seen her, even when they had met her for the first time.

* * *

**~Three hours later~ **

"…And Momo and Kaidoh ended up fighting again" finished Eiji while laughing.

Sakuno laughed with him while Oishi and Tezuka observed them. Sakuno looked now way better. Her face had almost recovered her usual color and she also seemed happier and more relaxed, though that may have been because of Eiji, who always succeeded at making her laugh. Tezuka knew that, after himself, Eiji was the person Sakuno felt better with. The others, sooner or later, ended up looking at her with pity or compassion. Eiji, however, always seemed happy just to see her and talk to her. If Oishi asked her if she remembered something or said anything that saddened her, Eiji always hurried and changed the topic to make her smile.

In spite of it all, Sakuno wasn't silly. She knew perfectly well that the boy with the golden eyes hadn't come back and she knew it was her fault. The next few days after the crisis she had, every time she thought about him she became nervous and was distressed. However, seeing he didn't return, little by little she had noticed she missed him. She had also noticed that no one ever mentioned them and she'd never had the courage to ask. But she missed him more every day and today Eiji was there and not that boy who wore a headscarf and hissed constantly…

"Mmm..E-eto Kik- E-Eiji-san" stuttered without looking at him.

Sakuno had started to call them by their name after she became the manager of the team, but she was now using their surnames again (except with Eiji, who had refused and had begged her to call him by his name). She had also dropped the _senpai_ in favor of the _san_ since she didn't remember anything about high school. Eiji looked at her smiling, waiting for her to continue.

"D-do you know if that b-boy with golden eyes is going to co-come?" Since no one ever mentioned him and she had fainted soon after he saw him, the only thing about him that she could recall was that weird eye color she had been trapped in.

Sakuno had bowed her head, blushing madly while she played with the hem of the sheet, so she didn't see how Eiji's smile disappeared from his face and the three boys exchanged a look. Eiji, who didn't know what to say, remained silent and Tezuka stood in.

"Do you want to see him?"

Before that, Sakuno blushed even more.

"I wa-wanted to apologize for what happened the other day."

"There's no reason for you to apologize" assured Oishi with a smile that the girl, still with her head bowed, didn't see. "So you don't need to worry about that".

Sakuno didn't answer and they remained silent for a while, not knowing what to say, until Sakuno suddenly raised her head.

"The doctor doesn't allow me to see him because of what happened, am I right?"

The three boys were surprised. Not only hadn't she stuttered nor had she blushed (more than what she already was), her look was way more firm than what they had seen since she woke up. It looked almost like the glances she used to give them when she knew they were plotting something.

"The doctor thinks seeing him could worsen your state" answered Oishi kindly.

"But I feel better now and I'll know he's coming, so nothing will happen" insisted Sakuno.

"But still…" doubted the vice-captain.

"Please. It's true I don't know why I reacted the way I did and that at the beginning I felt bad when I thought of him, but it's not like that anymore, really."

Tezuka looked at her. He was the one who spend the most time with her, but, still, he couldn't fully understand her. It was true it was like she had went back to her twelve year-old self and Tezuka hadn't really known her then because when he started to spend more time with her Sakuno started to change. She wasn't so shy anymore, nor did she stutter nor blush constantly. The Sakuno they knew before the accident was still as kind and affectionate as the twelve-year-old, but her will and her character had become stronger. Ryuzaki-sensei said it was because of her friendship with the regulars.

But sometimes, just sometimes, when they were alone, Tezuka thought he could see the same spark of decision and confidence her eyes had before the accident. However, Tezuka had never seen her so determinated as she was then. Even though he had never took part in the regular's "investigations" to know whether Sakuno was in love with Ryoma or not, Tezuka was curious. Deep inside, he believed she still loved Ryoma and that was why she had reacted the way she did. Tezuka knew the doctor was against of the regulars seeing Sakuno, especially Ryoma since he had a big role in the accident, but Tezuka –even though he would never admit it- hoped Ryoma would be able to help her. That was why he had supported him when Ryoma wanted to see her. However, after what had happened, Tezuka had obeyed the doctor and had banned him from seeing her.

Tezuka knew Ryoma was feeling guilty. Because of the accident, because of her losing her memories, because of the reaction she had when she saw him. And the captain also knew Ryoma felt somewhat betrayed by Tezuka himself, who hadn't allowed him to see Sakuno again. But the accident, one way or another, had affected them all, and Tezuka was now afraid of not being able to protect her. Tezuka couldn't prevent the accident, he couldn't prevent Sakuno's reaction when she saw Ryoma and the young captain didn't want Sakuno to suffer anymore. In just three years, Sakuno had become one of the most important persons in his life.

But Tezuka also knew that banning Sakuno from seeing ryoma was a selfish desire. He would do whatever he could and even more to protect her and make her happy again, but to achieve that Tezuka had to trust her too.

"Do you want to see him?" asked Tezuka again, looking at her in the eyes.

Sakuno looked back at him, blushing but not backing off. The girl didn't know where that desire that gave her that strength came from, but she wasn't willing to give up. Beyond apologies, fears and insecurities…She wanted to see him again.

"Yes."

Both of them looked at each other in the eyes, not saying anything, until Tezuka stood up and left the room, still not saying anything. Eiji looked surprised while Oiji was, once again, worried. The vice-captain knew where Tezuka was going and didn't really agree, but he had also seen the change in Sakuno and couldn't –nor did he know how- opposite. Sakuno, who also knew where the captain went to, only smiled, though with a trace of sadness.

* * *

_**~That night~**_

The room's lights were off since Tezuka had left the room so Sakuno could sleep. She didn't know how much time had passed since he had left, but she just couldn't sleep. Sakuno knew the next day was going to be very important for her. Tezuka had gotten permission to take Ryoma to the hospital, and the more she thought about it, alone in her room, the more insecure she felt. She had tried to convey them to tell her something about the boy, but the only thing she got was his name.

Echizen Ryoma.

She knew that name, she was sure about it. Even if she didn't remember it. And the more she thought about him, the more afraid she was to remember. She wanted to see him and didn't want to. She wanted to remember him and didn't want too. Anxiety grew inside of her, but she couldn't back off. She had had a hard time getting permission to see him so she could apologize to him and get to know him so she could tell why she reacted the way she did. She wouldn't give up now, even if that meant remembering things she may have wanted to forget.

She had to see him.

* * *

_**~The next day~**_

When Fuji stepped in the changing room he immediately knew something was wrong. Oishi looked really nervous and kept exchanging looks with Eiji, who also looked nervous but, strangely for him, hadn't still uttered a word. Both Oishi and Eiji looked over to Tezuka from time to time, but the captain didn't look different at all. Inui seemed to also have realized something, because he was writing non-stop on his notebook, even though he still hadn't finished changing. Kaidoh didn't seem to notice anything and Momo and Ryoma weren't there yet.

Tezuka just continued changing his clothes, ignoring the nervous looks from Eiji and Oishi, and the inquisitive stares from Inui and Fuji. However, once he finished he didn't go to the courts, where most of the team already was, and just stayed in the changing room in silence. That just increased the tension of the other regulars, and even Kaidoh looked at the captain. No one said anything until they heard noise outside the changing room and Momo and Ryoma entered, running.

"This is you fault! Why can't you just wake up in the morning?"

"You didn't have to wait for me! You just wanted to eat breakfast _again_!"

"Instead of worrying about my breakfast, worry about the laps Tezuka-buchou is going to make us run!" shouted Momo, embarrassed.

They hurriedly changed, unaware of the stares of the other regulars. Tezuka stepped in before Ryoma could manage to answer Momo.

"Echizen."

Ryoma and Momo stopped half naked and turned to look at the captain. Tezuka looked directly at Ryoma's eyes and saw again that spark of sadness that had enlighten them ever since the younger saw Sakuno in the hospital. Tezuka was pretty sure none of the others –except for, maybe, Fuji- noticed it, but he could see it clearly.

Ryoma looked back at the captain, apparently calm. Ryoma had confused feelings for the captain. On one side, he felt betrayed by Tezuka, who had sided with the doctor in order to forbid him to see Sakuno. On the other side, Ryoma knew the captain was doing so to Sakuno's well being and the younger couldn't get angry for that, no matter how much he hated the situation. He still remembered the conversation he had had with Tezuka at the rooftop.

"_She may not remember us."_

Those words had come true and Ryoma didn't know what to do. He wanted to help her, but he couldn't even see her. And, even if he hated to admit it, he wouldn't have know what to do if he had the chance to see her again. Thank her? Apologize to her?

"Echizen" repeated the captain, "you'll come with me to the hospital after practice."

None of the regulars dared to move or say anything after that, waiting for Ryoma to answer. Tezuka hadn't asked him, but it wasn't as if the younger would refuse.

"Can I see her now?" asked Ryoma.

"The doctor is against it, but Sakuno has asked herself."

"What?!"

"Does she remember him?"

"No" answered Tezuka to the exclamations of the other regulars. "She still doesn't remember anything, but she has realized Ryoma si the only one who hasn't come back and she has figured out why, so she has asked to see him.

Ryoma nodded once without a word and continued to get changed. Momo, seeing his unresponsiveness, was about to say something when he saw the look Fuji gave him and decided to let it go. Tezuka, however, understood Ryoma. The captain knew Ryoma was glad she was better and that she had even asked to see him, but the boy was also afraid. Because the girl was not the same and Ryoma didn't know what to expect. And, what's more, the guilt was still there.

Tezuka also felt guilty, more because of Ryoma than because of Sakuno. The captain wished he could have prevented the accident, but he knew none of them, not even Ryoma, could have. Tezuka knew it had been Sakuno's decision to save Ryoma and he respect it, no matter how much her current situation hurt him. Tezuka had told Ryoma so when he was trying to make the younger react. And he had also told Ryoma that she may not remember them and he ended up being right. The doctor had warned them about possible sequels, but Tezuka hadn't thought much about it then, he had only wished for the girl to wake up. Every thing the captain had told Ryoma had been just to make him react. He hadn't expected to be right.

Practice went on as always, but to Ryoma it seemed the slowest and the fastest practice he had ever had. In the changing room was more silence than what was normal. Most of the club members had noticed the tension of the regulars and kept looking at them from time to time, worried but not saying anything. Momo and Eiji, contrary of what would be normal for them, didn't say anything nor did them try to advise the youngest. When Tezuka and Ryoma were ready and began their way to the hospital, Fuji and Inui joined them, partly because it was their turn to see Sakuno but mostly because they wouldn't have missed it by any means. Tezuka, knowing they would find a way to spy on them even if he banned the from doing so, didn't even try to opposite. Ryoma sent them a look of distaste, but he also kept silent. None of them said anything during their way to the hospital.

Finally, after arriving in front of Sakuno's room, Tezuka stoped and turned to Ryoma

"Wait here."

The young boy nodded, tense, and saw the three regulars entering in the room.

* * *

Sakuno waited, anxious, for Tezuka and Ryoma to arrive. She knew they would be there in about half an hour and her anxiety increased. She had tried to amuse herself, but nothing had worked. She had even left her room alone –something she never did, afraid she would encounter another person who would knew her and that she wouldn't remember – so she could go for a walk around the hospital. However, soon enough a nurse saw her and made her return to her room, worried that the girl would be exhausted and ignoring Sakuno's pleas.

Sakuno, however, was relieved that she didn't regret her decision. She still wanted to see him and learn more things about him. Tezuka had only told her that she had pushed Ryoma out of the way to save him and that that was why she had received the car's impact that made her lose her memory. She hadn't been able to find out anything else. Not even Eiji had told her anything about her lost memories and Sakuno knew it was because of Tezuka and the doctor.

Sakuno sighed and tried to make herself comfortable in the bed, but before she could look again at the clock, she heard soft knocks and Tezuka, Inui and Fuji entered. Sakuno's body tensed when she saw them, but she tried to relax when she saw Tezuka looking at her and she hurriedly smiled. Sometimes she felt like Tezuka was always testing her, gauging her reactions. The fact that Fuji and Inui were there as well just increased that feeling. If she passed the test, she would be able to see him. If she failed… It wasn't an option.

Sakuno wanted to prove that she could handle the situation, that she could control her feelings. It was hard not to know who she was nor what relationship she had had with those boys that visited her every day. However, it was even harder to bear the feeling of being disappointing them, especially at the beginning, when she wasn't able to get up and she got tired right away. Sakuno was sure they all would have come together to visit her had the doctor allowed them to do so. There was something in those boys that made her wish to improve, to remember.

To be stronger.

From the look Tezuka gave her when she smiled, Sakuno knew the captain knew exactly what she was doing. For some reason, that only made her smile even wider, a spark of humor enlightening her sweet brown eyes. The three boys approached the bed, Fuji smiling as always and Inui, oddly, without his notebook. Tezuka, at the other side of the bed, sat down on the chair that was already his and took her hand .

"How are you feeling?"

It was the daily routine. The first thing Tezuka always did after entering was sit by her side, take her hand and ask her how she was feeling while looking directly at her eyes. At the beginning, Sakuno had felt as uncomfortable as embarrassed: when all was said and done, Tezuka _was_ one of the most popular boys in their high school (even though just a few girls were brave enough to approach him and all of the other girls were satisfied just by looking at him in the distance). However, no matter how embarrassed she felt, Sakuno couldn't deny she was also grateful. Tezuka made her feel safe and loved, even if she had never seen him smile –or she just couldn't remember it.

And, of course, Sakuno knew it was useless to try to lie to him.

"Nervous, but fine" answered the girl with a soft smile, her previous humor replaced by a mute question in her eyes.

Tezuka squeezed her hand softly before answering.

"Do you still want to see him?" asked the captain still looking her in the eye.

The boy felt her pulse speeding up through her hand. Sakuno, who didn't quite trust her voice, nodded with her head before answering with an almost inaudible but firm voice:

"Yes, I want to see him."

Fuji, who wasn't smiling anymore, and Inui watched the couple with a serious expression but without taking part in the conversation, until the captain raised his head and made a gesture to Fuji, who went to open the door in order to let Ryoma enter. Sakuno, after one last nervous smile to Tezuka, looked over the door to see Ryoma. Tezuka, however, continued to look at her, trying to avoid another crisis. Inui and Fuji, who stepped aside to let Ryoma in, looked alternatively at Tezuka, Sakuno and Ryoma.

When Ryoma finally entered in the room and he and Sakuno were able to see each other, it was like a déjà vu: none of them moved nor said anything. Sakuno clung on the sheet that covered her legs and Tezuka, who was still holding her hand, tensed.

Even though Ryoma had already seen her, he felt again the same felling, the same mix of relief and loss. Sakuno was fine; she had woken up.

But that girl that was looking nervously at him from the bed wasn't his Sakuno.

Tezuka knew he shouldn't interrupt, that they will speak when they were ready. However, and in spite of what he had told the doctor, Tezuka was still afraid about Sakuno, about that delicate girl that clung on his hand as it was the only thing that could protect her. And as every day when he visited her, his heart broke a little bit more. Because Sakuno only had them, and she couldn't even remember it anymore. In spite of her speeded up pulse and the obvious tension, he didn't move nor said anything. While nervous, Sakuno seemed to be all right, there weren't tears in her eyes nor was she hyperventilating.

Sakuno, on her own, wasn't sure whether she was feeling well or not. She still had that weird feeling of knowing him and not knowing him at the same time, the same feeling she had with the other regulars. However, even though her heart seemed to shrink when she saw him, she didn't feel bad, just uncomfortable. Seeing Ryoma was just looking at her without saying anything, she decided to start the conversation in order to ease the tension.

"A-ano…I'm glad you've come. I wa-wanted to a-apologize for my response the o-other day, E-Echizen-san."

Fortunately or unfortunately, Sakuno's courage wasn't enough to speak while looking at him, so she didn't see the pain reflected in Ryoma's eyes. Tezuka, looking at the younger for the first time, thought Ryoma would collapse and run away. Apologizing for something she wasn't guilty about was normal for the Sakuno they all knew, even at sixteen. In spite of having a stronger personality, she still did it. It was part of her kind self.

_**Echizen-san.**_

Sakuno had never, _ever_, called Ryoma by his surname. Not even after he came back to Japan after three years without seeing each other. They had kept in contact by letter and Sakuno had kept calling him Ryoma-kun.

Tezuka, Inui and Fuji felt again the same disappointment. Deep down, they had expected Sakuno to react different before him, especially after the crisis she had when she first saw him. However, she had reacted in the same way: embarrassed, shy. Insecure. Tezuka feared Ryoma wouldn't be able to bear that Sakuno so different, but he was wrong.

Ryoma had clung to the hope that she wanted to see him for something more than just an apology that didn't even had sense for him. He knew he shouldn't have expected something, but he just couldn't help it, and after listening at how she had just called him he felt empty. So, so empty… But the pain had come and Ryoma was tempted to run away and not come back. Tempted to not see that girl that looked how her fingers rolled up in the sheet, waiting for an answer.

But Ryoma knew he just couldn't do that to her. He just couldn't leave her just because she couldn't remember him after saving him. He owed her. That's why he approached her, thanking all the time he had had to practice the same stoic expression Tezuka always had.

"Mada mada dane, Ryuzaki. You're always apologizing about stupid things."

The girl raised her head, surprised, and heart jumped. Tezuka, who was still holding her hand, must have noticed it, but his expression left nothing away. Sakuno looked at Ryoma, a little bit worried, but even though she couldn't read his expression, she thought his voice was warm, so she tried to answer him with a little smile.

* * *

An hour later, the four boys got out of the hospital. A nurse had come to see how Sakuno was feeling and, seeing she had a mild fever, she had made them leave her room so the young girl could sleep. However, even without the nurse, the third years knew they couldn't have been there much longer. Even though Sakuno hadn't realized it, Ryoma was growing more uncomfortable each passing second. All of Sakuno's tries to be kind and engage Ryoma in a conversation had only made the boy more aware of all the differences that there were between that girl and the Sakuno he knew. It made him realized all the things he had lost: the complicity, the jokes… Even the arguments. It was as if Ryoma was craving for something that didn't exist anymore and each minute was harder for him to manage, to be there pretending nothing was wrong.

"Echizen, come with me."

Ryoma raised his head to look at him, but Tezuka and the others noticed he was actually lost in his thoughts. Maybe that was why, after looking at Ryoma, Tezuka just turned around and started walking. Ryoma, after a pause, followed him almost automatically.

Ten minutes later, they arrived, along with Fuji and Inui, to the neighborhood courts. Without uttering a word, Tezuka lead Ryoma to a bench, dropped the tennis bag and took out the racket and a tennis ball.

"One set match", said Tezuka looking at Ryoma. "You serve first," added after giving him the ball.

Without waiting for an answer, the captain went to one side of the court and waited for Ryoma to get into position. Fuji and Inui stayed beside the bench and observed Ryoma get out his racket and walk to the other side of the court. He still looked confused, as if he was moving but not really knowing what he was doing.

However, that confusion gradually vanished while they played. During tennis practice, Ryoma always seemed tired, as if he didn't have the strength to go on. He didn't play badly, but it couldn't compare to how he used to play before the accident. However, every shot now was more powerful than the previous one. Neither of them used the Muga no Kyochi. They didn't care about the outcome of the match, they just wanted to let out all the feelings they had locked inside since the accident, especially Ryoma. And the best way to do so was to use those feelings to return every shot.

Finally, after one last smash, Ryoma fell down on his knees, sweating and breathing heavily. Tezuka, although he looked as tired as Ryoma, approached the net. The youngest raised his head and they looked at each other. Tezuka could see calm in Ryoma's eyes that he hadn't been able to see since the accident.

"Are you ready?" asked Tezuka.

He didn't add anything else, but Ryoma understood. He remembered once again the time he had spent with the new Sakuno, the pain and the relief. The loss. But he'll have to endure it. For her. From now on, everything would be harder. They'd have to help Sakuno so she could remember. Ryoma knew it was time to choose. That was what Tezuka had asked him. Now that Ryoma was fully aware of the situation, was he ready to stay by Sakuno's side as long as it was necessary? If he decided he wasn't, Ryoma knew he would never be with her again, not even as a friend, not even if she recovered her memory. It wouldn't have been fair.

But Ryoma wasn't willing to give up on her, let alone leave her. He'll take care of her and he will be whatever she needed him to be. Because he owed her, yes, but above all, because, with or without her memories, she still was Sakuno, and he will do everything to restore her. Anything.

"Yes, I'm ready", answered Ryoma while he stood up and shook Tezuka's hand.

* * *

_**~Four days later~**_

"But, Tezuka…"

Oishi stopped, unable to find the words. The other regulars were as stunned as the vice-captain and didn't know what to say. They were all in the tennis courts, with the coach. The practice had already ended and Tezuka had asked the regulars –and Kawamura, who had been waiting for them to finish to go and visit Sakuno- to stay for a while. Sakuno was going to be discharged the next day. The doctor had told Tezuka a couple of days ago, but the captain hadn't told anyone about it to prevent them from complaining. Now that everything was settled, Tezuka thought it would be better to tell all of them at once: Tezuka would move to Sakuno's house for a while, living with her and Nanako, Ryoma's cousin. They three alone.

At the beginning, it hadn't been easy to decide it. The doctor opposite to Sakuno living outside her house, but neither Tezuka's nor Ryoma's parents could move to Sakuno's house, not even temporarily. Tezuka's parents worked all day, as well as Ryoma's mother, and the doctor had asked for at least one woman to live with Sakuno and stay with her. Tezuka had volunteered to move to her house in order to help Sakuno and all the adults trusted him, but they couldn't leave him alone with Sakuno all day. So, they had decided that Nanako would live with them to help take care of the girl. Even though Nanako was young, she was older than Tezuka, very responsible and, since she also had holidays at the university, she had plenty of time to take care of Sakuno. Nanako also used to visit Sakuno, so they knew each other and Sakuno felt rather comfortable with her, because she didn't know Ryoma's cousin before the accident and, therefore, Sakuno didn't feel guilty about not remembering her. However, they had also decided that both Tezuka's and Ryoma's parents would visit them from time to time to check out on them.

They had told Sakuno when they had already decided and the girl, though nervous and embarrassed, had accepted. Deep inside, she was glad to be able to stay with Tezuka and Nanako. Both of them made Sakuno feel safe and she had also feared the day she would be discharged from the hospital because, if she didn't have any family left, how was she going to live alone when she couldn't remember anything? She didn't even know where she lived.

"If the doctor has agreed, it must be the best for Sakuno. And we would be able to keep visiting her" said Fuji, who seemed to have recovered from the shock.

At the end, all the regulars agreed, but it wasn't like they could choose…

* * *

That's all. How was it? I'm now writting chapter 5. I don't really know how much time I'd need to finish it, but I'll try to come back as soon as possible (if chapter four doesn't need to be re-written...Does that word even exist? Anyway, thank you so much for reading this fanfic! See you soon!


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